Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Nearer My God To Thee

Do you ever meet someone who inspires you with a desire to be better than you are?

"Dull disciples will not light the way nor draw people to the kingdom."
(Neal A Maxwell)

A new student came to my class tonight. He was everything that is the opposite of dull - interesting, brilliant, sharp, full of light. He taught me quite a bit this evening as he commented and questioned and bore testimony. When class was over he walked right up to the front of the room and hugged me and thanked me. And I was humbled and grateful.

I looked into this young man's face and I saw the face of God. And I was filled with love. I was reminded of a desire - not so much buried as frequently ignored - to be equally yoked with a man who radiates such love for God and others. And I was just as quickly reminded of Doctrine and Covenants 88:40 and found myself struggling not to cry as I realized how far I have to go to be worthy of such a man. But, because love was present I found myself inspired rather than depressed.

"For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light; mercy hath compassion on mercy and claimeth her own; justice continueth its course and claimeth its own; judgment goeth before the face of him who sitteth upon the throne and governeth and executeth all things."

Do you ever feel a desire for something so much that you literally ache with the wanting of it?

Very few things inspire that much raw emotion in me. However, I continually ache to BE the woman I desire to BECOME. Simply put, I yearn to be better than I am.

Full of Faith
With a House of Order

I often present myself to the world as if I were this woman. Much of the time I feel like a total hypocrite. But, every so often, I discover that by acting AS IF I am this woman, I have woven a small part of her into the very fabric of my soul.

"In announcing his famous 'as if' principle, William James said that if you want a quality, act 'as if' you already had it. If you want to be friendly, act as if you are already friendly. If you want to be courageous, don't go around talking fear and indulging in negative, un-Christian thinking. If you want to be faithful, act 'as if' you are already faithful. Do the things that faithful people do…Don't go around glorying in your sins and weaknesses."
(Sterling W Sill)

As I talked of Christ with 70 some odd students this evening, I felt that I was closer now to BECOMING the woman I want to BE than I have been in a long time. I was also reminded that the nearer I get to God, the further away I realize I really am.

But, something about this inspires me to "try a little harder to be a little better."

1 comment:

  1. I love you Crista. And I miss you terribly, my own fault i know but its true none the less. I think about you often and love that reading you blog has brought some much needed food for thought. Thank you for being you woman. I adore you.